The only God you are allowed to serve is Me. The only church you need to visit is Mine. Put your soul on my altar. Confess your sins, receive your punishment with grace. Don't miss your chance to be forgiven.
You will smell my essence; I'll bathe you in my holy waters and drown your worries, concerns, and doubts.
I'll heal your broken soul and nurse your lusty body with the tears and pain that it deserves.
Kneel, my child. Step on the path to absolution. Amen.